A person can physically survive a solitary existence but that is not a happy one, being rejected is painful. We want to be liked and loved but we cannot force people to be nice to us. We ponder to the whims of others , hoping to please everyone and try to behave affably , making correct remarks and laugh at the right times.
Being on the receiving end of a social snub causes a cascade of emotional and cognitive consequences , it increases anger , anxiety, depression, jealousy and sadness . It reduces performance on difficult intellectual tasks .People who routinely feel excluded have poorer sleep quality and their immune system don’t function as well as those of people with strong social connections. To top it all, even brief seemingly innocuous episodes of rejection can STING.
People often respond to rejection by seeking inclusion elsewhere. They pay more attention to social cues ,be more likable yet others may become aggressive they are less likely to gain social acceptance.
However, then there are people like me, ” if one is socially isolated you are going to die”, proved this statement wrong. Though I did feel the pain , always feared losing the approval from others and craved to be accepted at some point many a times.
There was a time when I used to look for signs and reassurance wondering what people think about me .That was a dead end a pathetic feeling.
Gradually , I realized that it is not my fault, my interpretation is wrong. We humans are very bad at predicting our future misfortunes, what if I say this ,what if I dress up like that, what if I smile less or more , what if …..there was no end to my apprehensions
Instead of feeling sorry for being rejected socially I became curious about the thinking of such socialites ,What would be possible logical reason for my parents, immediate relatives and friends for their such behavior ? Some years back this could have got me into tears but now I am rather amused and very curious about the working of human brain and the psychology behind it.
The problem lies somewhere within us, because we care too much .We care about others opinions of us because we somewhere doubt ourselves .Somewhere, I read and its really so appropriate for each one of us rejected lot ,“whether we invest energy into making others like us or not ,there will be people who won’t”. Being disliked by people is actually a sign that we are doing something worthwhile. Being disliked means that we stand for something.
For no reason all these years I have been punishing myself by pleasing those who least deserved my love and respect. Moreover ,as I judge others they too have every right to do so. The point is that we should neither criticize ourselves nor others because that’s the only way to free our minds of all the theories that are self created ,we need to be tolerant towards others and ourselves as well. live our life the way we want, remember at the end of the day it’s all going to end. Eventually we all will perish, accept good and bad both that makes life more challenging and interesting. Insults damage us when we accept our flaws perceived by others. Though sometimes we should be open to change, not for others but for our own betterment .As kanye west once sang “Everything I’m not made me everything I am”.
Happiness comes from within , it doesn’t matter who is accepting us and who is not but it definitely matters whether we have accepted ourselves or not.